Can a codependent relationship be saved?
Will your codependent relationship be saved?
That’s a different question. If you’re in a codependent relationship and want to install clearer boundaries, you are taking a risk that the relationship will not survive the changes.
However, if you follow the guidelines below, you’ll be taking very helpful steps toward preserving the healthy elements of your relationship while reducing the impact of the boundaries. So if you’re on a mission to stop being codependent, take the following to heart.
1. Work it together.
Relationship changes always work better when both parties are working on things together. This isn’t always possible, but if you can come to an agreement as a couple and make decisions about the change in unison, you’ll be more able to handle the stress of change.
2. Know what you’re getting into.
Changing codependent habits will lead to an emotional upset. Imagine that, for your part, you haven’t been saying no enough and have been feeling taken advantage of. When you start saying no and requiring the other to take care of himself or herself a little more, it’s going to sting.
This could lead to arguments. The other party might feel rejected or become passive-aggressive. You could end up getting sucked into a fight. It’s hard enough to say no, but when you add an argument on top of it, it can become unbearable.
If you anticipate these kinds of issues, you may be able to navigate them with more confidence. At least you won’t be shocked when things go sideways. They will. Be ready for it.
3. Know how committed you are.
Here’s the litmus test question:
Can a codependent relationship be saved? It’s more likely when both partners are 100% committed, of course. If you’re investigating how to do this without your partner’s support, then the real question is:
Are you willing to sacrifice your relationship in order to stop the codependent behavior?
Codependent relationship patterns are often so ingrained that changing them can feel like a threat to life itself. Seriously, codependency is a survival mechanism that will not die easily. Your commitment to end the codependency must be so strong that you would rather accept the end of the relationship than the continuation of the codependent patterns.
When it comes down to it, how committed are you?